


whatever works for you

by alfredolover119



Series: shipmas 2019 [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys Kissing, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Crushes, Denial of Feelings, Explicit Language, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hogwarts, Light Angst, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mistletoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21931501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alfredolover119/pseuds/alfredolover119
Summary: Remus just wanted to enjoy his Christmas break alone. He would have the room to himself and finish every book on his reading list. However, Sirius staying at Hogwarts and Lily's pep talk about confessing feelings ruins any chance at a peaceful break.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: shipmas 2019 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558579
Kudos: 66





	whatever works for you

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for checking this out! This is a very late posting of day six of the twelve days of shipmas, a series of prompts by LittleRose13. The prompt for this story was, "Did you just... summon mistletoe?"
> 
> Enjoy!

Remus's favorite holiday was not Christmas. In fact, it was one of his least favorite holidays. When he was a young child, he would receive gifts and his family would sit down to a feast. After a certain point in his life, though, they couldn't necessarily afford it. He remembered the first time that happened. He woke up on Christmas morning expecting gifts as usual, but they weren't there. It's not a nice feeling, realizing your parents can't really provide extra things that aren't necessities in life. The look in his mother's eyes when he had asked about it was enough to steer him away from Christmas for the rest of eternity.

Until this Christmas, that is. 1977 was just around the corner, and Remus was not eager to jump into it. 1977 would be a lot of things, he knew. It would probably be the last good year of his life. After Hogwarts, he didn't know what he would do. Ministry regulations prevented him from getting much of a job. Voldemort was always lurking about, killing folks and such. Life after Hogwarts was not something to look forward to in this day and age.

For now, though, it's December 16th, 1976. There was no need to leave Hogwarts or to even think about it for a while.

Remus figured worrying about the future was probably a good way to start the morning. It really helped put things into perspective for the day. He was struck out of his vaguely anxious thoughts when someone pulled the hangings around his bed open.

"Moony! What are you doing still in bed? Don't you want to say goodbye to me? And are you  _ sure _ you don't want to spend Christmas with us?" It was James. He talked faster than anybody Remus had ever heard talk, but he was very well-accustomed to it. James was always like this when it was just the boys.

Regardless of "Prongs the Spastic", as they sometimes called him, Remus supposed it was about time to get out of bed. 

"Yes, I am still in bed. If you really want me to care about you leaving, you have to understand that waking me up is not the way to my heart. Thank you again for your offer, though, but I just want to stay at Hogwarts this Christmas."

James put on his pouty face and narrowed his eyes at Remus. This sometimes worked with the same effectiveness as a puppy-dog face. Remus wasn't quite in the mood for it today, so he just got out of his bed and began his morning routine.

Wormy and Sirius were absent from the room, meaning they were either in the common room or at breakfast right now. It was currently Sirius's turn with the map, so Remus supposed he would have to wait to find out. It wasn't important anyway, they would all see each other at breakfast. He shook his head, hoping that would clear his thoughts, and then finished getting ready.

James walked with him to breakfast, but they were intercepted by Sirius and Peter on their way out of the common room. Sirius put his elbow on Remus's shoulder nonchalantly, leaning in close.

"You guys weren't trying to leave us, were you?" He talked a bit loud considering his close proximity, but Remus chose to ignore it.

However, James did not delay in throwing him under the bus. "Moony said you guys had probably already gone down to breakfast, and he's grumpy this morning so I wasn't going to argue with him."

Remus sighed. "I suppose I'll take the blame, then. Regardless of who did what, though, I think we should get down to breakfast. You guys aren't going to have much time to eat before boarding the train." He waited for Sirius to lift his elbow off of his shoulder before moving. Sirius did not seem in a rush to do that.

In fact, he moved even closer to Remus, somehow. He leaned in close enough to the side of his head that Remus could feel his breath. 

"Are you okay?" he whispered meaningfully, a look of concern in his eye when he pulled back.

"Fine and dandy, Pads just interrupted my… morning meditations." Remus patted Sirius's elbow reassuringly. Sirius did not look convinced. He leaned back into Remus's ear, but before he could say anything James interrupted.

"Oi, unless you guys have decided to finally get together right now, I want breakfast. If you did finally figure out that you're madly in love with each other… I still want breakfast."

Sirius leaned back and rolled his eyes. Remus would have blushed, but he heard things like this constantly. And, of course, he knew he was head-over-heels in love with Sirius. He was pretty sure Sirius liked him back, but neither one of them really felt like doing anything about it.

Sirius removed his elbow from Remus's shoulder, allowing him to move. He tried going out the portrait hole, but a female voice yelled at him from behind.

"Remus! Walk with me today." He sighed and gave an apologetic grin to the guys. James looked absolutely amazed, as he usually did whenever Remus's fellow prefect and friend, Lily, completely ignored him in favor of speaking with Remus. He was even worse than Remus and Sirius were.

Once Remus reached Lily, she gave him a strange look. He knew the look, and he pondered for a second if it was too late to hang out with his other friends.

"You should tell him." He rolled his eyes. This was at least the fifth time she had told him that just this week.

"Or we could continue on as we currently are. I'm happy, he appears to be happy. We're fine." 

She glared at him. He suspected she was hoping for a different answer the usual. He quirked an eyebrow at her and she sighed.

"I'm just worried about you. It's not good to hold your feelings in. Promise me you're okay?"

He considered it for a moment. He wanted to be truthful with her. "I'm as okay as I can be right now." 

She nodded and stood up. "In that case, onward to breakfast. I still have some last-minute packing to do before the train leaves."

They headed to breakfast, this time with no interruptions. They parted ways when they got to the Gryffindor table, Lily sitting with Marlene McKinnon and Remus sitting with the "Marauders", as they had dubbed themselves.

He had barely sat down when James started asking questions. "Did she say anything about me? Is she warming up to me? Do you think I can ask her out again now?"

Remus did his best to look apologetic when he said no. Nobody questioned him on what they had talked about. It was an unspoken agreement that unless information was willingly told, it wasn't asked for. It led to a rather healthy and trusting friendship with no prying.

James talked for the next ten minutes about Lily, though Peter was probably the only one listening. Remus and Sirius sat across from each other and talked about how James was absolutely clueless.

They headed back up to the common room after breakfast. The train was supposed to leave at 10 o'clock sharp, leaving them with ten minutes before they needed to head down. Since Remus was staying, he just sat in the common room reading his book while his friends packed. James had not packed any of his things, which would be fine, but they had a gigantuous amount of homework assigned over the break. 

When they reappeared with about a minute to spare, Sirius and James were arguing. Remus finished the paragraph he was on before marking his page and looking up at Peter. He was hoping to get some information off of him regarding the situation before trying to interfere. However, Peter refused to meet his eyes. James and Sirius bickered frequently, but this time it looked like a real argument. Uh oh.

"You promised!" 

"I never did such thing, you just assumed I did because you're so bloody self-absorbed!"

"If I was self-absorbed I wouldn't have invited you in the first place."

"Whatever, if that's how you feel about it… Maybe I'll just go  _ home _ for Christmas."

James and Remus made eye-contact before shouting at the exact same moment, "No!"

Sirius made a triumphant face. Remus still wasn't entirely sure what the argument was about, but Sirius had just one it. He'd pulled his trump card. 

"I'm sorry, Sirius. I guess I understand… Just promise me you won't  _ do _ anything on my bed." James turned to Remus. "That applies to you, too."

The dots connected in his head. He turned to Sirius. "You're staying for Christmas?" 

Sirius looks a boy sheepish at the slight confrontation, but he nods his head as he rubs the back of his neck.

"I didn't want to disturb the Potter family peace again as I did last year- I'm very self-sacrificing." He walked over to stand next to Remus, casually wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

James narrowed his eyes. "Bullshit. He said he didn't want you to spend Christmas alone." Remus took a step away from Sirius.

"That is incredibly touching, but if you really are just staying because you're worried about me, go on with James. I just wanted a bit of peace this Christmas, I'll be fine."

"I told you he wouldn't let you," said James, a glint of satisfaction in his eyes.

"Moony, I'm really not  _ worried _ about you so much as I just don't want you to spend Christmas alone. You're supposed to be around people you care about around the holidays, in case you've forgotten. You can have Easter to do your mopey thing, if you want." Sirius placed a hand on his hip in a very sassy way, as if to point out that nothing Remus could say would change this.

Remus looked around the group to see if there was anything he could do. James had an apologetic look carefully placed on his face, and Peter was refusing to meet his eyes again.

He sighed and took a step towards Sirius. "I guess it's just you and me for the next couple of weeks, then. Are you okay with disrespecting James's bed as soon as he leaves?"

Sirius's face was straight and he looked very serious. "Oh, I wasn't even planning on waiting that long. We could start now." He directed his mischievous look at James, who was cringing in severe disgust.

"I  _ will _ know if something happens to my bed and I  _ will _ get revenge if something happens to it." He pointed at Remus and Sirius very seriously.

Peter chose that moment to break his silence. "The train is supposed to be leaving in seven minutes."

A look of alarm spread throughout the boys before they all started running toward the portrait-hole. James and Peter led, seeing as they were going to be the ones left behind. Sirius and Remus also ran, but slower.

They made it just in time. Lily was waiting at the station to say goodbye to Remus. She pulled him into a hug. He hugged back gently. James gaped before being pushed onto the train by Sirius. When Lily noticed that Sirius was not boarding the train, she whispered, 'Tell him," in Remus's ear before getting on the train herself.

In less than a minute, the train left and the station was basically empty. Remus turned to Sirius. "Just us now."

"Yup. I just don't know what I'm going to do without James to annoy," Sirius replied.

Remus snorted. "As long as you don't direct your annoyingness at me, I do not care."

"Aw, Moony, I'd never do that to you." Sirius wrapped his arm around his shoulders affectionately. "Let's go to Hogsmeade, while we're down here. I hear the Christmas decorations are spectacular!" 

Remus sighed and allowed himself to be dragged into Hogsmeade. He realized it probably looked a bit suggestive, their position and the fact that they were going to Hogsmeade by themselves. Oh well.

The days continued on like this. They went to Hogsmeade, Sirius formulated plans to prank the Slytherins, Remus foiled said plans. They mainly just hung out in the Gryffindor common room.

On the 21st, Sirius received a letter from James. Sirius read over it solemnly before passing the note to Remus. It included no usual letter formalities. The only thing it said was, "Are either of you pregnant yet? I expect to be an uncle when I get back. P.S. Don't touch my bed."

Remus made eye contact with Sirius before they both nearly fell out of their seats in laughter. Sirius gripped at Remus's upper arm. They were creating quite a ruckus in the near-empty room, and the professors looked over at them in confusion. Remus put a finger on Sirius's lips to shush him.

Remus  _ could _ have imagined it, but he was pretty sure he didn't. Sirius's ears turned bright red and his eyes flickered to Remus's lips. Remus himself was still smiling, but he pulled himself together and removed his finger from Sirius's face. 

"I-" he started to apologize. Sirius interrupted him, though.

"So, you're not pregnant, right? Cause if you are, I expect to be the first person to know."

Remus decided pointing out that men could not get pregnant would ruin the banter. "No, Sirius, I am not pregnant. You will absolutely be the first person to know. However, out of the two of us, I think you're more likely to get pregnant. I mean, look at you." He poked Sirius in the chest for emphasis.

Sirius looked flabbergasted. "Me? Pregnant? How dare you imply such a thing!" He poked Remus.

"Sounds exactly like something someone who is pregnant would say." They got to a point where they were just poking each other over and over again.

After breakfast, they head back to the common room. It would have been  _ great _ , but someone had apparently decided it would be fun to tack up mistletoe around the room, complete with one right in front of the portrait hole. 

They probably wouldn't have even noticed, but a third year pointed above their heads from across the common room. The little coward left the room immediately afterwards.

They both looked up to ensure that there was mistletoe. When Remus looked back down, Sirius was staring at him with some unknown emotion in his eye.

"We don't have to do it, we're alone now and nobody would know…" Remus tried.

Sirius shook his head. "I would prefer not to mess with my Christmas karma. If you're-"

Remus surprised himself and Sirius by surging in for the kiss. His nose slammed into Sirius's and their teeth clacked. He pulled back, only to be pulled into a nicer kiss. Sirius's hand found its way onto his lower back. It was soft and quiet as their lips moved fluidly against each other. When Sirius's tongue pressed against Remus's lips, he pulled back. 

They were both out of breath. Remus decided he would be the brave one. "I-"

Sirius cut him off. "Glad we got that over with! We never have to do that again…" He looked nervous and a little bit vulnerable.

"Sirius-" he tried again. However, Sirius was not listening. He knew Sirius was panicking. He hoped that's what was happening, at least.

"Alright! Well, I'll be off to bed then." Sirius starts to move towards the dormitory.

"Sirius!" His voice comes out much louder and more stern than he meant it to. Sirius turns back to look at him. He looked like a hurt puppy.

"I'm sorry…" Remus says. "But you know what walking away right now means." He crossed his arms over his body and hunched his shoulders over.

Sirius looked pained. "Do you, though?" He responded before turning and leaving. Remus did not call for him again.

He did not turn back.

  
  


The next few days were the same. Sirius still had the Map, and it seemed like he was making good use of it. Remus didn't see him at all. For a while, Remus wondered if Sirius had left Hogwarts after all. 

On the morning of Christmas Eve, Remus woke before dawn. He had not been sleeping well since… whatever that was. He looked even more sleep-deprived than usual.

When he went down to the common room, clad in pajamas and robe, he found Sirius passed out on the couch with no blanket. His heart ached. Had he done that to him? He should have followed his gut. He shouldn't have done anything. Why the fuck had he done anything?

He grabbed a throw and tossed it over him. He frowned down at the sleeping boy before returning to the dorm. He retrieved a book and went back to the common room to have a nice read. It wasn't his fault that Sirius was asleep on the couch. Well, it was, but he really just wanted to enjoy the quiet morning.

He read for two hours. The other Gryffindors who stayed were already at breakfast. Remus was just getting ready to pack up and head to breakfast himself when Sirius's gruff voice stirred the silence.

"Morning," he said before promptly falling off of the couch. Remus thought he would move, but he just stayed there, lying on the floor.

Remus marked his page and closed his book, laying it on the coffee table. He looked down at Sirius with the most neutral look he could manage.

Sirius grinned up at him. "I think we, me and you, are a couple of sodding idiots." He rolled over onto his stomach and pushed himself up onto his elbows.

Remus closed his eyes for a second before responding. "I am afraid I do not know what you are talking about. I think I made my intentions clear." 

Sirius quirked an eyebrow at him. "I like you better when you're not being passive-aggressive." He moved to a sitting position, throw blanket around his shoulders. His hair fell into his eyes, but he made no effort to push it back. "And to be clear, I do like you. A lot." He pushed his hair back 

Remus stared at him blankly. "Are you sure?" He didn't know where it was coming from. Perhaps it was the feeling of rejection he had been feeling for three days. Maybe he just didn't believe that Sirius could actually like him back.

Sirius stood up, approaching Remus. "I've never been more sure about anything. I knew before our mistletoe fiasco- which I quite enjoyed, actually- and I know now. I fucking like you so much, Remus Lupin. Not only like.  _ Like  _ like." 

"Why didn't you talk to me for three days? Why did you avoid me?" Remus tried. He stared at his fingers, picking at his nails.

"I thought you were mad at me. I didn't want to upset you even more. What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm being serious?" Sirius was standing right in front of Remus's chair now. Their eyes met. His heart was beaming right through his gaze into Remus's soul.

Remus knew now more than ever that he was truly fucked.

"You just did," he replied stupidly. He broke their gaze to continue picking at his fingers. "This feels incredibly cliche, though. Next thing I know, you'll be in my lap kissing me."

On cue, Sirius plopped down onto Remus's lap, their heads incredibly close together. "You don't want that?" Sirius asked, moving his face in closer.

"Be creative. How would you like our  _ real _ first kiss to be?" Remus felt his resolve draining. He really wasn't quite sure why he was putting this off.

"The same way as our  _ actual _ first kiss." Sirius leaned back with a thoughtful look on his face. It lit up after a moment.

" _ Accio Mistletoe _ !" Sirius called with his wand somehow in his hand. Within a second, a piece of mistletoe was in Sirius's grasp.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Did you just summon… mistletoe? Just to recreate this?" He was getting a little bit irritated with himself for creating this whole denial thing. He wanted nothing more than to kiss Sirius until both of their lips were raw.

Sirius held the mistletoe above their heads. "Kiss me?" he asked cheekily.

Remus leaned forward hastily. The position was a little awkward, but his hands were on Sirius's waist steadying him. Sirius's hands gripped at Remus's hair and shoulder. Their lips met perfectly this time. Remus wasted no time in deepening the kiss. Somewhere in his mind, he knew anybody could walk in at any moment, but he did not necessarily care. 

They broke apart after a while. They both were breathing heavily. Sirius collapsed fully against Remus, who wrapped his arms around him protectively.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," Remus murmured into Sirius's hair.

"Me too. How in McGonagall's tits did you get to be such a good kisser?" Sirius shifted against Remus.

"That's for me to know and you to enjoy." Remus closed his eyes and breathed in Sirius's scent. He couldn't pinpoint what it was, but it was perfect. He tightened his grip.

"Whatever you say, Moony." Sirius yawned and tried to cuddle even closer to Remus.

Remus suspected that Sirius hadn't been sleeping well either. He looked out the window. Based on the sun, it was probably about nine. Plenty of time for a nap. "Pads?" Remus asked gently.

"Hmm?" Sirius responded. His breathing was slowing.

"Do you want to go to bed?" Remus thought it was a good idea. Morning nap.

"Is that a proposition? Geez, you haven't even taken me out yet," Sirius responded without missing a beat. However, he did stand up, taking Remus's hand in the process.

"My apologies, where have my manners gone?" He allowed himself to be dragged towards the dorm.

"I've been influencing you. Slowly taking your manners day by day. This is just the first time you've noticed it."

"I'm sure. And what are you doing with them, exactly?" They made it to the stairs leading up to the dorms. 

"That's for me to know and for you to enjoy," Sirius quoted. Remus grinned at him.

"I suppose I will, then." 

They made it to their room. They looked at each other and silently agreed to take their nap on James's bed. Just because.

Sirius immediately cuddled up to Remus. Remus held him as tightly as he could. "Remus?" Sirius asked sleepily.

"Yes, love?" Remus let the term of endearment slip. It fit Sirius.

Sirius looked up at Remus. "Merry Christmas." 

Remus placed a soft kiss against Sirius's forehead. "Merry Christmas."

And a merry Christmas it was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know if you enjoyed with comments and kudos<3 Find me on [Tumblr](https://whatsshakingbanana.tumblr.com/)!


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